Our Zeta Pi Chapter did well in 2023, with the initiation of 6 brothers in the winter semester (May) and 5 this past Fall (November).
We have attended many events, both educational such as the Engage Chicago Regional Training, and philanthropic endeavors such as Alpha Delta Pi’s corn hole tournament or Phi Sigma Sigma’s 5k, both raising money for charitable causes.
Zeta Pi Chapter also was a champion of school spirit in 2023 and could be seen rooting on the OU basketball team on many occasions.
The 2023 year was successful, both academically and socially for the brothers of Zeta Pi Chapter. We hope to continue this momentum into the new year.
You might say that Sigma Pi inspired Brother Bob Van Acker to want to give back to his community and serve people who live there.
That is part of the reason why in early 2023, he finished his feat of becoming an Auxiliary Police Officer for the City of Birmingham.
Graduating in April 2023 from the Oakland County community’s reserve academy, Bob earned the top spot in his class of 12 people and also served as class secretary. He’s responsible for foot and bike patrol for city events, and he serves as back up to the regular officers on duty.
This includes working summer month events in downtown Birmingham as well as the Woodward Dream Cruise, city parades, and high school sporting events. During the other times of year, Bob notes that he might ride as a 2nd officer during that regular police officer’s scheduled shift — he tries to serve at least once a month, usually for a weekend evening shift.
As part of this role, Bob completes continuing training once a month to sharpen skills that range from firearms, defensive tactics, or the legalities of police conduct.
“Serving the people and city of Birmingham is much broader in scope, than say working 1:1 or in more intimate focused groups within the fraternity roles,” Brother Van Acker said. “It’s a continued sense of duty and that it has allowed for me to continue to serve on a broader scale aligning with Sigma Pi ideals and values. This includes inspiring service, promoting the spirit of civic righteousness (doing good for others), and continuing to develop leadership and character.”
Now married in his mid-40s and working in project management field, Bob joined the Zeta Pi Chapter with the Psi pledge class in Fall 1996, He served as social chair, secretary, and sage before graduating in 2001 with a communications degree.
After holding the volunteer role of Chapter Director for 7 years, Brother Rob Pankau III handed over that position in November 2023 to Brother Tyler Reynolds.
Joining the Zeta Pi Chapter as part of the Beta Omicron pledge class in 2017, Tyler studied human resources development at OU, and had held 3 E-Board terms during hisActive years with the Chapter.
“Sigma Pi has, and always will mean a lot to me,” he said. “I was at the house after the first day of classes at Oakland and immediately saw something I wanted to be a part of. And the rest is history.”
Tyler becomes the 12th person to serve in that position since our Chapter’s founding in 1986.
Recently, the undergraduate chapter also voted to change the name of the role from Chapter Director to Chapter Advisor.
In thinking about taking over and continuing the work that Brother Pankau had given during his time as Chapter Advisor, Tyler quotes the Sigma Pi Fireside Song: “The circle changes with each year, brothers come and disappear.”
“I’m fully confident in the Active Chapter, and I, along with everyone else who is behind them, will do what we can to ensure their success. I’m looking forward to helping grow on the foundation Zeta Pi has stood on for nearly 38 years, setting us up for many, many more to come.”
Navigating a pandemic, changing times for Greeks
Rob had become Chapter Director in July 2017, following Bob Van Acker’s four-years in that role.
He reflected on his time, particularly as it required negotiation a challenging relationship with the OU administration and then as the COVID-19 pandemic changed everything.
He notes that the Chapter was divided at the time he started, uncertain about the path forward.
“I am particularly proud of how the chapter functioned and survived through the pandemic. Honestly, I could not have asked for a better outcome with operations essentially shut down for a year plus,” he shared. “The pandemic proved fruitful in a way that I couldn’t have imagined, with a refocusing on academics and the values of the organization as the social aspect was significantly diminished during this time. This has set the tone in the last few years of recruitment.”
Rob says the Chapter is in a place now that needs a different type of mentorship and guidance, someone who is more plugged into the current needs of students as well as how the every day life operates for a student.
Adding to that, Rob notes that the U.S. university system and its relationship with Greek organizations has changed dramatically in the past 10 years. That’s made his role, and the Chapter’s place at OU, more challenging to navigate.
“Greeks are often not welcome or are scrutinized in a manner that is inconsistent compared to other student organizations,” he said. “Oakland University has done away with a specific Greek Advisor at this point in time, which has led to an interesting dichotomy between the Chapter and the university. We are at the point that there is limited oversight by the university, but also limited and challenging to acquire support as well.”
Now, Tyler is the 12th to serve in that position since our Chapter’s founding in 1986:
Vince Chrisman (Founding Chapter Director in March 15, 1986)
John Pearson
Bryan Mahlmiester
John Zielke (until Feb 95)
Jeff Fox (Feb 95-June 96)
Chuck Surinck (June 96-Jan 09)
Pete Knoll (early 09)
Brett Westen (Early 09-Fall 09)
Rob Pankau III (Fall 09 – Nov 10)
Mike Long (Nov 10 – April 13)
Bob Van Acker (April 13 – July 17)
Rob Pankau III (July 17 – Nov 23 )
With the reestablishment of the ZPAA in 2023, now-former Chapter Director Pankau says that our Zeta Pi Chapter has more of a chance to succeed than ever before.
“The creation and sustaining of the Alumni Association will be a key to long term success for our Chapter,” he said. “With the Alumni Association, this gives the chapter another level of stability from a team of individuals, as long as we as Alumni remember that the undergraduates need us as mentors more than ever. Temper expectations and teach, while reminding ourselves of that the current challenges are different, we were all 19 and trying to figure it out at one point in time.”
The Zeta Pi Chapter at Oakland University received news in February 2023 that one of its alumni was named the new president at Eastern Illinois University.
That brother is Jay Gatrell, who joined the Zeta Pi Chapter in 1991 as part of the Kappa pledge class. Fun fact: he joined at the same time as his twin brother, Jonathan. He is Joe Piva’s little brother in the line of Founding Brother Dan Stacer.
Per the news coverage, Jay has been the provost and vice president of academic affairs at EIU before his selection as the university’s 13th president. He’s set to take on the new role in July 2023.
Throughout his career, Jay has been an economic geographer with interests in human environment interactions and he’s risen up the leadership ranks at several different higher education schools.
Though he’d started out at OU, he went on to earn his bachelor’s degree in political science from Eastern Michigan University, along with graduate degrees in geography from the University of Toledo and West Virginia University (Ph.D.). in the late 90s.
He went on to become a professor of geography and environmental studies at Bellarmine University in Louisville, KY, and he also served as vice provost for faculty affairs and research at the independent Catholic school. He also had spent time at Wright State University and 13 years in multiple positions at Indiana State University, including graduate dean and associate dean.
Jay’s EIU profile online notes that he took the EIU provost and VP of academic affairs spot in 2017.
According to the Daily Eastern News, Jay plans as EIU president to “shift the academic programs at Eastern to be more student focused, including the launch of accelerated graduate programs. (He) also plans Eastern to become a more affordable program.”
Congrats on your new position, Brother Gatrell! The Zeta Pi Chapter wishes you well!
Scrolling through some Facebook memories recently, Brother Mike Hoskins came across this post from 2009 following the wedding of Mario Macandog and Anna Marie Barnes. Here it is, as written by Brother Hoskins and posted online so many years ago.
The essence of purity. It’s something we measure by a child’s innocence. That natural beauty of a state’s inland lakes or magical Fall colors. Or even the pure fun of friends reuniting for a September wedding.
So was the case on Sept. 19. Pure Michigan magic transcended time and formed again on the campus of Oakland University. When two people — Mario and Anna Marie — joined together in the company of close friends and family to celebrate their everything.
Together, the couple lit up the church and campus just as they’ve always done: rich in flavor and fun, unique in ritual and tradition. They made it their own, simply making it as natural as Games on the Grass. We all hung up our regular lives, locked up, and headed off to do something we truly love. A sign that we’re spending time with those who mean so much and truly deserve it, stepping into the playground of pure happiness.
There was dancing. The movement to the music and changing states of soberness mirrored the dancing trees in a brisk Fall wind, just as the changing hues of the evolving seasons evolve on the dancefloor of Michigan’s landscape. That nature of trees reminds us that there are bigger things in life than just us, but our roots run deep and we can grow together in a Land of Golden Grizzlies and Pioneers.
Like the golden sunrises appearing over Lake St. Clair each morning, a rainbow of colors could be found in the spray paint provided by a man once known as Meat. A band of Brothers journeyed to a familiar spot where Pup + Friends painted the sacred rock once more.
Just like the old days of Sigma Pi, when young and old were just that — young, and not so old. We avoided the controversial coastline of Beer Lake, leaving those memories in the past so only to bring a headshake and chuckle rather than a new emergency room visit.
We laughed and loved in a place upstairs, not far from where we all first met and learned who we were. And who we might become. A campus hub, an Oakland Center that centered our lives.
Now redone, there’s no more office or ping pong tables or Knights of the L downstairs. So much of what we knew back then has moved on, even though 100 years has not passed in our heart and minds.
Still, the OC continues to capture our attention and once again it gave way to a memorable evening where we could find a new center for a new age. All in the spirit of celebrating Mario and Anna Marie.
But nothing gold can stay, and just as the Fall season fades too quickly and the leaves fall from the trees, the night came to an abrupt end as the Bar of Mysterious Mixtures was replaced with a water jug. And oh, the potential of water.
We found ourselves and made due, capitalizing on the energy from a state staying afloat in turbulent economic waters. We wished for Fridays and managed to find refuge there, even when the rest of the night and week had come to a close. We continued on and shared in a night of Macondog Magic, in the company of friends. Of family. Of Brothers.
Collectively, we all showed our Progress, and its distinctive mark in each of our lives. We Believed once more. And we always will. That is the power of Pure Michigan, Macandog-style. It’s the power of Sigma Pi Brotherhood.
The COVID-19 pandemic presented a situation none of us in modern times had experienced before, including everyone connected to the college fraternity experience. Our Zeta Pi Chapter of Sigma Pi at Oakland University was no exception.
While quarantines and health mandates presented unforeseen challenges and changed the very nature of the fraternity experience for over a year, the pandemic period also gave Sigma Pi chapter an opportunity to shine, strengthen brotherly bonds and find new ways to navigate these pandemic speed bumps.
One notable moment in history for our Chapter is that, despite the pandemic woes, we moved into a new fraternity house in June 2021. That new location is on Franklin Boulevard in Pontiac.
“A big takeaway for me is that even in the worst of circumstances, there is always better coming your way,” said Brother Tyler Reynolds, who served as Sage from April 2021 to April 2022. “The biggest lesson I personally learned during the pandemic was that no matter what, we’ve always got that connection as brothers.”
Although Brotherhood and relationships declined during the beginning of COVID-19 with restrictions, they were able to shift to reopening and growing stronger in late 2020 and 2021 as everything began returning to some type of normalcy.
“Brotherhood and the relationships had declined in the beginning,” Brother Reynolds said. “However, as things opened up more the thing we all wanted to focus on as a chapter was bringing the brotherhood back strong as ever. It really showed in our commitments to the weekly brotherhoods we hosted as soon as we could and moving towards planning a ‘normal’ academic year.”
Since the Summer months are typically off-times for those attending OU, our Chapter doesn’t really have a summer rush; instead, any potential brothers who are met and recruited during that time are funneled into the upcoming Fall rush cycle. Due to COVID-19’s beginnings in March 2020, that late spring initiation was pospoted until everything began opening up that summer.
That led to losing half of the pledge class because of the wait, some due to pledges transferring to other schools prior to being initiated, according to Brother Reynolds.
“This was disheartening but was certainly the least of our worries given the pandemic,” he said.
When the Fall 2020 academic year began, it was a surreal moment as most colleges were still in a virtual learning mode due to the pandemic. Some schools eventually started later with hybrid models and pandemic restrictions in place.
As a result, the Zeta Pi Chapter found it more difficult to recruit a typically larger Fall pledge class. While our Chapter always strives toward “quality over quantity,” that was even more true during that semester.
“It proved challenging as we moved back to truly in-person rushing, which led to the chapter having a recruitment workshop,” Brother Reynolds said, noting that Brother Christian Younger led that workshop and has served as the chapter’s Recruitment Director for the past 2.5 years leading into and during COVID-19.
Virtual chapter meetings made it much harder to get things done, Reynolds said: from lack of cameras being turned on, to people just flat out not paying attention. He also said when everything closed and Michigan’s stay-at-home order was in place, the Brother’s phones were the only way to stay in contact with each other safely.
“It was difficult to keep the brothers informed and planning things,” he said. “I was able to personally overcome this through the Discord channel we created and just repeating information over and over again there.”
When in-person events became more possible, our Chapter held meetups and events at parks, beaches, and outdoor areas where it was in line with CDC guidelines at the time. Most of the time during the pandemic, OU had strict policies regarding chapter meetings and meetups, so hosting those events inside is what Brother Reynolds says proved the hardest for the brothers to plan for everyone.
Even looking at our Zeta Pi Chapter’s signature Pig Roast event in the first week of the Fall semester each year, you can see the work and grit that the Active members put into putting on a successful event. The Sept. 2020 event took place at the fraternity house at the time in Rochester, with a smaller intimate setting outside; while the Sept. 2021 event was held in its traditional location on campus, in between the Oakland Center and Bear (aka Beer) Lake. Even with pandemic restrictions and limitations in play, the Chapter welcomed people to the event — a small slice of “normalcy” in uncertain and surreal times.
Throughout it all, Brother Reynolds said enduring these pandemic challenges made our local Chapter stronger.
When the pandemic began, our Chapter had a floating number of nearly three dozen members. They feared it might drop if Brothers left OU and they hadn’t recruited and initiated new Brothers because of the pandemic. But that didn’t happen. As it turned out, the Chapter’s membership in Spring 2022 sat at 35 Active plus 4 pledges soon to be initiated as part of the Beta Omega pledge class — nearly unchanged from the start of COVID-19.
“I took over and had campus reopening, in person events coming and only half of a chapter that had been to an on campus event, so leading them into this year was a challenge but we had a very successful year,” Brother Reynolds said. “We survived a pandemic. Our numbers hardly dropped. That is something not a lot of fraternities, Greek organizations, businesses and even universities can say. We stayed together and persevered through the tough times and are finally seeing it pay off with improved relations with other Greek organizations, a new house, and growth in the Chapter, and that is something we all can be proud of.”
With a half dozen men graduating in Spring 2022 and many of them having E-board and leadership roles, Brother Reynolds noted that our Chapter remains strong in numbers and quality.
“Our chapter will be very young, with roughly half the chapter being first or second-year members, something I have not seen in my time in the chapter,” he said. “Today, we are as tight as ever but still focusing on bringing involvement back up to our high standard. That is something that should be the focus of the chapter going into the next school year and beyond.”
In a historic milestone moment for Zeta-Pi at Oakland University, we’ve initiated the first intra-chapter, father-son legacies into our local Sigma Pi bonds of brotherhood.
The first legacy pair came in November 2019, while the second legacy set followed in late 2021. These men are brothers simultaneously at a moment when our chapter has about 400 men initiated locally, since our Chapter’s founding over three decades ago.
Brothers Waite
On Nov. 23, 2019, Zeta-Pi welcomed into its ranks the 11-member Beta Tau pledge class, the largest group in several years that brought our Undergraduate roster to more than three dozen men.
One of those new initiates was Brother Drew Waite, who happens to be the son of Brother Jeff Waite from the Lambda pledge class in Fall 1991 The elder Waite served as Pledge Educator and 2nd Counselor during his undergraduate years and has remained a respected leader and mentor in his years as an alumnus – both for our Chapter, and at the Executive Office level in serving on the Ritual Committee during the last biennium.
“Very surreal,” Jeff said about seeing his son initiated as a brother. “We have shared so many different unique bonds in our life, but this latest one is the deepest and most emotional for me.”
Drew says that brotherly bond that he observed within Sigma
Pi was the main reason he joined, despite not convinced for a long time that a
fraternity was going to be a fit for him. But after his dad started introducing
him to both Alum and Active members, his perspective started changing.
“The connection you grow with your brothers doesn’t stop after you graduate, it really is a life-long bond,” Drew said. “My dad has been talking about Sigma Pi and the benefits of being a brother, ever since I can remember. But seeing first-hand the number of people who have had the same experience as he did, and all the good things they had to say about it, was awesome.”
Both Waites point to the special father-son relationship
they’ve had through the years, including growing up in the same communities and
attending the same schools a generation apart. Now, they say Sigma Pi has
offered another bond to share.
“Now that I have joined Sigma Pi, that connection has grown even tighter and I’m proud to call him (and everyone else) my brother,” Drew says.
Brothers Tosolt
A second set of legacy men entered our Chapter’s history in early December 2021. Ethan Tosolt joined the Chapter that his father Jeffrey had joined back in 1987, as part of the early Beta pledge class.
Beta Psi Pledge Class. Ethan Tosolt far left bottom corner.
The younger Tosolt joined as part of the 14-member Beta Psi pledge class.
Other Brotherly Bloodlines
While these were our first father-son legacies within Zeta-Pi, there have been other bloodlines shared within that fraternal brotherhood before now. Two notable examples stand out:
Hakim Men: Past Grand Sage George Hakim (Gamma-Alpha, Detroit-Mercy ’78) welcomed his son Douglas into Zeta-Pi Chapter back in 2009. Doug’s had many different fraternity leadership roles through the years and joined Grand Council in 1994, and he was the sitting Grand Sage at the time of his son’s initiation as part of the Alpha Omega pledge class. He even assisted in the ritual aspect of the ceremony.
Farrug Bros: at the Chapter’s beginnings, Michael was a Charter pledge class member in ’86, while his actual brother Joe transferred from Central Michigan University in the Beta Pledge Class and became the sole brother initiated without a Founding Father originated line.
Hudas Men: Brent Hudas joined the Zeta Pi Chapter with the Beta Kappa class in 2014, initiating into the same fraternity that his dad Greg did in 1984 at Wayne State University.
Alam Bros: Most recently, Josh came in with the Beta Omicron pledge class in 2017 before Jacob joined with the Beta Tau pledge class in November 2019.
We’ve also seen instances where our own Brothers have seen
their children find Sigma Pi chapters at other schools, whether those fraternal
experiences materialized into life-changing moments and positive experiences or
not. It goes to the bigger point: even with a father-and-son story, it’s not
always a happy end result when it comes to legacies.
Brother Michael Grant (Tau) emphasizes there are no
guarantees. Because chapters can go from a Sage’s Cup to losing their charter
very quickly, it becomes even more significant when a can stand the test of
time and also welcome descendants from their own Brotherhood lines. He also
points out that some fraternity chapters choose to not recruit or initiate
legacies as a matter of principle, or that some sons may not have positive
experiences like their fathers once had within the fraternity.
“It’s a big deal, and it really is an incredible thing for
all the stars to align,” Brother Grant says. “This is a very memorable story –
not just tugging on the heart strings of a father and a son, which is very
moving, but about our Chapter. Together this shows Zeta-Pi has massive staying
power.”
Importantly, it’s always about a Chapter initiating a new
member for the right reason. That’s why Brother Drew Waite – while historically
significant for us locally – is part of a bigger story. One that includes this
Beta Tau pledge class of 11 new brothers: Jacob Alam, Zachary Fennell, Tristan
Hoff, Yousif Kiryakoza, Justin Knox, Rob Martin, Tyler Mutz, Marco Pacifico,
Adam Reich, Steven Turchi, and Drew Waite.
You might describe this as an ever-evolving story about the
continuation of Zeta-Pi.
Chapter Director Rob Pankau III (Alpha Iota, Past Grand
Herald) made this observation when snapping a photo of the new brothers
following their recent initiation ceremony. While capturing the new initiates
posing on an upper balcony with the Sigma Pi banner, he also noted that Brother
Frankie Valenti (Beta Nu) is only one in that picture not a part of the newly
initiated group of guys.
“I find it very serendipitous that he was the lone active in
this photo as he is our single senior that is graduating this semester,”
Brother Pankau observed. “This photo is the epitome of the perpetuation of our
brotherhood.”
We are thrilled to have every new Sigma Pi complete their
initial journey into the Brotherhood, regardless of where they hail from. We
believe, and as always look forward to continuing to embrace the fellowship of
kindred minds no matter where our road leads us into the future.
As a founding father of the Sigma Pi chapter at Oakland University, Brother Jim Lambouris helped pave the way for all the men who would follow.
He played a pivotal part in shaping our Zeta-Pi Chapter’s foundation in the 1980s, with his commitment to friends, family, community and brotherhood shining through to all who knew him and carrying on throughout his life.
Sadly, we said goodbye to Brother Lambouris on Nov. 25, 2020, as he began his journey to the Adytum On High at age 57. He lives on through his daughters and grandchildren, as well as countless other family members, friends, brothers, and online gamers he’s influenced in so many ways.
“Commitment is the word that comes to mind, because when Jim was in, he was all in,” said Brother Rob Waters, a charter pledge class member and close friend of Jim’s starting in those early days of college fraternity life. “It was true for the fraternity, for his daughters, for his family, and for everything in his life.”
Founding a fraternity chapter
One of 19 original founding fathers of what was initially known as Omega Nu Pi (aka “Oakland’s New Pioneers”), and among the first 28 recognized members of this Sigma Pi colony, Jim became a founding e-board member at the time of the chapter’s chartering on March 15, 1986.
It all began with a group of guys gathering in 5 Van Waggoner, the original dorm where several founding members lived at the time in 1985. Jim ended up connecting with that group, and it was through those initial connections that he’d bring Brother Waters into that same orbit.
Both grew up in Waterford and had gone to high school together, though they weren’t friends during those years as Jim was two grade levels ahead. It wasn’t until OU and Sigma Pi, as they became chartering brothers and close friends.
“He was the reason I joined,” Rob said. “And he was the best man at my wedding in 1989. I didn’t know a damn thing about Jim before Sigma Pi, and that’s somewhat remarkable in that we had gone to high school together. Here’s someone who invites me to a fraternity event, and now he’s my only friend that I know in the room. And as it turns out, he’s the person I got to know the best.”
The two spent a lot of time together during the college years, often engaged in late-night conversations, canoe and ski trips, partying, and car trips to EKU, Eastern Michigan and MSU events.
Other brothers also recall how Jim was well-liked and approachable, and always a center of the social scene. He’s also remembered for how reliable he was for those who mattered in his life, no matter the cost.
Brothers also point out Jim never had a bad word to say, and he’d usually have a grin or smirk on his face — even if he didn’t like something, but would barely let that unhappiness be known.
“Jim was always there when you needed him,” Founding Brother Bryan Mahlmeister said. “Whenever you needed him somewhere or to do something… you could count on him. For those of us starting the fraternity, there was such a drive to make this happen. Everyone worked together and supported each other, and Jim played right into that. We all valued his energy.”
Jim attended OU from 1984 to 1988, remaining active with the fraternity during his undergraduate years.
Brother Ross Parpart, who joined in 1988 as part of the Delta pledge class, had a message about Jim’s influence on the chapter — not only on his joining Sigma Pi, but shaping the lives of so many other men.
“Thank you for guiding young men as they embarked on their way to adulthood,” Ross wrote in a Facebook message. “I was one of those young men many years ago. There is no way you could have know how many you helped, guided, and transformed.”
Though some of the guys drifted apart after college, as many brothers do, several note they eventually reconnected as friends and kept in touch — whether it be online fantasy football, casual brotherhood meetups, friends catching up at the Tel-Twelve Mall foodcourt during the workdays, or at Rob’s signature Tiki Nights each July 3 on Wolverine Lake.
Pioneer in the online gaming community
Looking back, Rob recalls it wasn’t until years later he’d realize that Jim was actually a “closet introvert.” He was just as happy being in front of a computer as being out in person with a group. That would carry on throughout his life, especially as Jim was an avid gamer and became an influential part of the virtual gaming universe.
Beginning in the early 90s, Jim immersed himself in playing Multi-Users in Middle Earth (MUME), a popular multi-player text-based game based on J.R.R. Tolkien’s ‘Middle Earth’ that has been going since 1991. Out of more than than 700k characters ever created in MUME, Jim’s accolades include the “Ugurz” character that is only 1 of 12 to ever reach the maximum, most-difficult level.
MUME plans to honor Jim by retiring his characters and commemorating him within the game.
A devoted soccer dad
Of course, anyone who knew Jim can attest to the most important part of his life after college: his daughters Jordan, Taylor, and Erin. As a single father, they were his world and many have fond memories watching Jim’s love for them displayed everywhere.
“He was devoted to his daughters,” Brother Waters says, noting that Jordan and Taylor were incredibly involved in soccer through their young lives and Jim was heavily invested as a beloved soccer dad.
“He spent a king’s ransom on traveling soccer for his girls, easily a six figure dollar amount over a six or seven year period. They ran like the wind and both are smart and extremely talented,” Rob said.
Through everything in life, Rob recalls conversations the two shared demonstrating how deeply Jim was in protecting and caring for his daughters and making sure they had the best lives possible.
Taylor shared this with our Zeta-Pi Chapter, to include in this tribute to her father:
“You were the most invested, loving, and selfless father,” she wrote. “You put so much time and effort into Jordan, Erin, and I. Not only were you a great father, but just a great person, too. You were so kind, patient, and giving to others. You always went out of your way to help people, and never expected anything in return.”
Taylor continued, “You tried your best to be at every dance recital, soccer game, track meet, and was always my #1 supporter. You gave me the best advice about life: to try my best and to go out of my comfort zone. I am so happy that I will be able to cherish those memories forever.”
Trees of brotherhood, family, life
Reflecting more on the tree analogy, it’s tough to not sit in awe of Jim’s life: That separate trees can come together at different times and the roots can grow close together and intertwine, no matter how disparate or broken the branches may seem to be growing at different times.
Jim had moved to Arizona in recent years, to reconnect with his mom whom he’d had limited contact with since high school. Growing up Greek Orthodox, family was always a big, influential part of his life. Although he had lost touch with his mom when he was younger, he eventually reconciled with her and left Michigan to be near her and his new step-father there.
“That was a full circle for him, on a personal standpoint,” Brother Waters said. “It really demonstrates how true, how committed to family he was. It had a big impact on him.”
Rob uses that analogy when reflecting on his relationship with Jim, given their beginnings in high school and how that evolved over many years.
“You plant 2 trees next to each other, and even if they were compatible trees to begin with, it’s pretty rare that they’d grow in the same way and direction,” Rob said. “We aren’t the people now that we started out as, or who we’ll end up as. It’s almost a crapshoot people can evolve in the same direction.
“What I’ve always always found remarkable about the fraternity experience, is it throws you into a crucible with people you may not have that much in common with,” he added. “It is remarkable, because there is so much shared experience, so much shared commonality. Trees that don’t make much sense being in the same place end up growing together, changing the direction they’d grow if not for the other.”
We are sad to say goodbye to Brother Lambouris as a founding father and longtime member of our Zeta-Pi Chapter. We send our continued condolences and wishes to Jim’s family, but know he lives on in brotherhood.
Instead of flowers or donations (per the family’s request), our Sigma Pi chapter at Oakland University has planted a tree in Jim’s memory through an American Forests memorial partnership.
The online description says: “When you choose to have a memorial tree planted for James, you are doing more than simply putting a plant in the ground. You are making a long-term commitment to the environment and rooting the memories of James in our planet for countless years to come. A memorial tree is a unique tribute which provides global benefits like no other memorial gift could.”
You never know the lessons that can spring up unexpectedly to tie together thoughts on insects, Greek philosophy and being a fraternity man and better human to those around us.
That happened recently for me when reading a book about the
culture politics of disease and healthcare. One passage struck a chord,
grabbing hold of my mind and rekindling memories of college courses, classical
literature, and general life lessons that started with Sigma Pi decades before.
The book author illustrates an experience he had in 2004, walking on a college campus himself and hearing the orchestra of cicada song springing from every tree up above. He noted that to ancient Greek philosophers, these vocal insects represented spiritual ecstasy, rebirth, immortality. Plato, for example, invokes the images of cicadas in Phaedrus to symbolize both restraint and honor, narratively crafting a link between personal control and dignity. Essentially, Plato’s protagonist in the book, Socrates, talks about resisting the cicada song and not succumbing to laziness but instead practicing restraint. A disciplining of the passions, taming temptation and exercising self-control.
Greek philosophy aside, cicadas are remarkable on their own as they only live a short time to sing and mate before hatching eggs and going underground for another stretch of nearly two decades. They pretty much live in the moment, doing their duty while also living out their passions in short order. It only happens once every 17 years, at least for some of the more particular types of cicada, making 2021 the next time this 17-year brood is to return in full force.
Of course, I couldn’t help being fascinated that the book
author here notes this all transpired in 2004 — coincidentally the same year
that I moved to Indiana for my first daily newspaper job and covered that very
same cicada emergence. In another twist, any Sigma Pi man knows our fraternity
history that we began way back in 1897 at a small college in the southern-most
corner of Indiana. The Hoosier State for the win, once again.
This all came full circle when reading that book passage,
flashing back to my college days and all that’s come in the many years
following that period of my life. Much has changed in the world. Personally, I
am grateful to have grown up in a time before social media. When the Internet
(see World Wide Web) was in its infancy and just starting to come into its own
by the time I graduated as an Omega from Oakland University. Our lives weren’t
chronicled online for everyone to see, but more importantly our collective
brains hadn’t yet been rewired by this technology.
For all the good that technology and social media can bring,
there are side effects that have taken years to recognize in culture and
society.
These days, our attention spans are shorter. We don’t read
anything the same way we once did. So much of our interaction happens with the
click of a keyboard, text messaging or even online video. How much of this is
evident when going out for an evening, and seeing those around us not fully
engaged with each other but drawn into the technological screens at our
fingertips? Or those who resort to Google and Internet searches for quick
answers, rather than drawing from information they’ve learned and retained from
long ago?
For too many people, the ability to think critically and
engage in reasonable, rational conversation has been trampled by polarization,
instant-gratification and confirmation bias.
Often, I feel too many of us fall into that trap of being
entranced by the song of the cicada and not exercising necessary restraint or
self-control in how we live our lives.
You can always trust Greek philosophers to bring it home,
with Plato and Pythagoras and Socrates and Aristotle all expounding on themes
that are very in line with cicadas and life itself – and are key parts of how
we’re supposed to live as Sigma Pi men in this world.
I look back to the cicadas and my Sigma Pi teachings, as
lessons in self-restraint and being a better person, when contemplating how
quickly one must respond on social media or (gasp!) in-person discussion. The
need to be right, to persuade others forcefully that they’re viewpoints aren’t
correct, pervades our life to the extent that it often feels too exhausting or
pointless to engage with others for a greater good.
You also may think back on the cicadas when reflecting
fondly on those we’ve lost over the years, whether it be a Brother or family or
friend. Sometimes, special people in our lives are suddenly gone unexpectedly,
while others live full lives before they come to a close. Everything can change
in an instant, and it comes back to balancing everything in how we carry
ourselves through today and tomorrow.
All of this shapes how I interact with people. Sometimes, I
succeed. More often, I fail.
Is this one of the four pillars of brotherhood that
Pythagoras has written about, the Application of Divine Wisdom being brought
into daily life? Who knows. I certainly don’t. I’m not that wise.
But I am trying. I’m a continuing work in progress, which is man and woman’s distinctive mark alone.
For that, I appreciate what I have learned and continue to learn from Sigma Pi.
Our Zeta Pi Chapter of Sigma Pi at Oakland University mourns the loss of Brother Bryan Michael Urben, 40.
July 31, 1978 – Dec. 9, 2018
[Alpha Beta Pledge Class, Winter 1998]
Bryan and Trish at Orchid Ball 2016
Bryan and his kids at Disney in 2018.
“He was one of the most sincere people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. His life always seemed full of the things that made him happy, at least if his smile was any gauge of it—he always wore one.” – Brother Rob Ray
“My fraternity brother Bryan, who was always willing to help out someone in need… Bryan was genuine, kind, intelligent and funny. Bryan left us way too early and will be forever missed. Bryan was everything you wanted in a brother and he was a role model to many.” – Brother Matt Karrandja
“He was one of the most solid people you could ever meet. Fraternity Brother, Father, husband, friendly to all he ever met. He always went out of his way to say hi, acknowledge you. The world lost a fantastic person.” – Brother John Zielke
“I am shell shocked to learn of the passing of a dear fraternity brother… Bryan, you were always smiling. I can remember when you rushed and I thought to myself that you just embodied our ideals. You translated that into a beautiful life with a beautiful family. I am absolutely gutted. Tonight, I will hold my loved ones even closer. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I know that your strong legacy lives on. Rest in peace, my brother…until we meet again.” – Brother Scott Benoot
Rest in Peace, Brother.
After coordinating with Bryan’s wife, the Sigma Pi – Oakland Chapter and Alumni created a GoFundMe account , and donations go directly to Bryan’s family. Visitation services were held on Friday, Dec. 14 from 2-8pm, with rosary and a fraternal service at 7pm at A.J. Desmond and Sons Price Chapel, 3725 Rochester Rd., Troy (between Big Beaver and Wattles).
In lieu of flowers, please donate to Patrizia Urben for their childrens’ college.
That is part of the reason why in early 2023, he finished his feat of becoming an Auxiliary Police Officer for the City of Birmingham.
